After I won an iPod Shuffle, my dad said, "Congratulations on winning your new radio."
From David

After I told my mom I was buying a Mac, she said, "Great! Make sure it has Microsoft Windows on it."
From Steph, CollegeHumor Marketing Something-or-Other Extraordinaire


Mom: Do they sell a separate navy ink for the computer?
Me: No. Just that standard color cartridge.
Mom: Hey, there's a good idea, fashion colors for the computer.
Me: Yeah, that's practical.
Mom: Do they make gold or silver?
From Andrew (who gets a special award for his deft use of mom-ignoring sarcasm)

The first text my dad ever sent me said, "heykelbwhatsupyourdad"
From Kelby

I was watching one of those Zoom Zoom Mazda commercials with my dad, and it showed a shot of a mountain with roads that spelled out "Zoom Zoom" in cursive. My father asked, "Where did they find a road like that?" then logically amended, "Or did they just buy a mountain and cut the road out of there themselves?"
From Sterling, Guelph

My mom sent me a text message that read exactly as follows: "How do I send a te".
From Alex, UIC