Staff Picks

Chain Reaction

April 23, 2008

Isn’t the Internet fascinating? Anything you can possibly dream up is at your fingertips with just a few key words and the click of a button. Unfortunately, with different situations comes a long list of supplementary searches you had no intention of even getting into.

Situation A
1. You just saw the Little Giants for the first time in ten years…
2. “Who played Becky ‘The Icebox’ O’Shea?”
3. IMDB SEARCH: Little Giants
4. Shawna Waldron…. Becky O’Shea
5. “I wonder if she’s hot?”
6. GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH: Shawna Waldron
7. “Ehhh a little better… not bad”
8. LIMEWIRE SEARCH: Porn

Situation B
1. You saw the South Park episode from a couple weeks ago with the Internet stars…
2. YOUTUBE SEARCH: Afro Ninja
3. “Haha wow, that is ridiculous”
4. Click back and check FEATURED VIDEOS…
5. Hot Chick Gets Naked!!! HAWT!!!
6. “Count it!” You check it out…
7. “Hey she’s not getting naked…”
8. It’s a promo for PETA >:[
9. YOUTUBE SEARCH: Girls- boobs
10. “Gah this sucks”
11. YOUPORN

Situation C
1. You need to do research for history class…
2. WIKIPEDIA SEARCH: Joan of Arc
3. “O.k. cool, now to relate her to another empowering woman… Hmmm ah! Eleanor Roosevelt…”
4. WIKIPEDIA SEARCH: Eleanor Roosevelt
5. “Wow she turned out to be a lesbian… Hot!”
6. YOUPORN SEARCH: hot lesbos

Situation D
1. Your roommate or parents are leaving for a couple hours…
2. GOOGLE SEARCH: Naked chicks
3. PORNOTUBE SEARCH: Hot girl orgy
4. “Ew there’s too much weird shit on here.”
5. YOUPORN SEARCH: celeb sex
6. 30 minutes of looking through related videos…
7. REDTUBE
8. “Yahtzee!”
9. You’re so enraptured by the length of videos that you don’t even question yourself saying “Yahtzee…!”
10. You check your dorm- or bedroom windows…
11. “Coast is clear”
12. PORNOTUBE