Stripper names are notoriously generic, fake, and funny all at the sametime, i.e ‘Rainbow’, ‘Angel’, ‘Peaches’. But picking a stripper name isn’t as easy as it seems, as evidenced by these horrible stripper introductions below.
1. “Hey everybody, quit your grinnin and drop your linen.. because coming up to the stage next is a girl who always likes her clothes HALF OFF. Oh yeah, you know who I’m talking about. She comes……. in the mail every month. She’s hot. She’s sexy… Give it up for COUPON!!”
2. “Once you see this hottie hit the stage, you’ll be running for the bathroom in no time! But don’t forget to floss because this girl is high class all the way. She’ll keep your teeth white and your heart pumpin, let’s give it up for TOOTHPASTE!!”
3. “Coming straight out of South America is a Columbian beauty who you wouldn’t mind waking up to every morning. She’ll keep you on your toes… and on your back with her sweet and fresh aroma. Ladies and gentleman, give it up for COFFEE BEAN!!
4. “Our next dancer sure knows how to move, and she’ll put you in a daze when you see her hips shake from side to side. Let’s give it up for U-HAUL!
5. “Can you smell the sex in the air? Oh yeah, get ready to get out of your seat and make some noise for a girl who knows how to get it on. Give it up for WHOOPEE CUSHION!”
6. “Is that something in your pocket, or are you just excited for this next dancer? Coming to the stage next is a girl who loves get it it on on the couch. She’s hot. She’s kinky, and she has a lot of powerful friends. Give it up for POCKET CHANGE!”
7. “Our next girl definitely knows how to get busy. And gentelman, if you know how to press the right buttons and offer to pick up the TAB, then you may be lucky enough to go home with this hottie. There’s a new kind of MILF in town, fellas… Give it up for MICROCHIP!!
+
-
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
Even More Super Secret Menus
Weed Strains Named After People You've Smoked With
What Your Desk Toys Say About You
The Way We Do Things Sober vs Drunk
News Feed History of the World: March 2012
If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
Remember when you thought Robot Unicorn Attack was the coolest game? You were an idiot.
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
