The Differences Between Halo and Your Girlfriend
Halo:
Originally released on November 15, 2001.
Girlfriend:
Birthday some time in… June?
Halo:
You know that three hits to the body and one headshot with the battle rifle will take down your opponent.
Girlfriend:
You still can’t hit the right spot.
Halo:
You stay up all night trying to beat the game in co-op mode.
Girlfriend:
You stay up all night because sleeping while cuddling is a physical impossibility.
Halo:
“This is Spartan 117! Can anyone read me? Over.”
Girlfriend:
“Ughhh, I’m so stressed out. Give me a shoulder massage.”
Halo:
Allows you to travel to a universe where aliens are trying to take over the world, artificial intelligence has surpassed human intelligence, and the fate of civilization is in your hands.
Girlfriend:
Lives in a universe where Sex and the City is humorous, thought-provoking television.
Halo:
There’s nothing more satisfying than getting a sticky grenade right on your opponent’s face.
Girlfriend:
“You want to do WHAT!?!”
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