Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

Happy Spring, friends! Let’s look at some skin, shall we?

Megan Fox was voted the Sexiest Woman in the World by FHM magazine,
which obviously doesn’t mind that she bones a washed-up star from Beverly Hills, 90210. That kinda pushes her back to like, number 3 in our book. [IDLYITW]

Here is Britain’s hottest woman, Amy Winehouse, after she beat up a of couple dudes at a bar. Amy might get arrested! Hey if she won’t go to rehab, jail works. [CelebSlam]

Lindsay Lohan is jealous of all girls (including Ashley Olsen) who talk to her maybe-girlfriend Sam Ronson. Sounds like she needs some (more) Grey Goose to calm her down down. [IDLYITW]

The Real Housewives of New York has finished up its season on Bravo, but if you wanna see one of the show’s MILFs nekkid, be my guest. [WWTDD]

Speaking of MILFs, or MImaybeLF if drunk and in a self-hating mood, check out Denise Richards filming her sure-to-be stupid reality show. No one gives a shit about her, so maybe prancing around in a bikini will help?
[HollywoodTuna]

While her sister was out getting pregnant and denying it this week, Jessica Simpson was busy licking cake off her boyfriend Tony Romo’s face. And that, friends, is just about all that she’s good at these days. [Egotastic]

A dog bravely goes where no man has ever gone before, and pees on Natalie Portman‘s leg as her boyfriend watches. Turn on? [WWTDD]

Carmen Electra is engaged to some dude who used to be in the band Korn. Yes, that is the sound of Dave Navarro and Dennis Rodman laughing while getting lap dances from strippers. [DListed]

Heidi Montag, that fug-boat of plastic from the Hills, has negged an invitation to the White House Correspondents gala after she and her boyfriend Spencer deemed it not “A-Listy” enough. Her zebra striped slut-tank was just TOO classy for that crowd. [CelebSlam]

And finally, please enjoy these pictures of Kim Kardashian on vacation in Mexico. They’re relatively g-rated, which we love as it means that girlfriend must have done a lot of the dirty stuff behind closed doors, away from her mom.

Yes, that freaky lady with the short hair is Kimmy’s mama, who was passed over by the MILF train a long time ago. [CelebSlam]