August 25, 2007 – Get to college a wide-eyed innocent 18 year old with mommy and daddy in toe.  Vowing to keep all of the morals distilled in your pretty little head from your parents.

September – Realize newfound freedom ad explore those freedoms to the utmost at Frat Parties.  You may have nowhere to go, but if you are a "cute" girl or you know "cute" girls you can get into any party you wish.

October – Make new friends and find the most enjoyable ways to waste your time. Some of the most popular are Facebook and drinking warm, cheap beer at Frat Parties.  It may not be the wisest choice, and studying may yield better results, but it's the freshman way.

November – Go home for Thanksgiving break and eye-up the people around you for those who will seem to gain the most weight.  Wear your clothes that make you look best, because everyone else is doing the same exact thing you are.

December – Go home for Christmas break.  Possibly be offered from alcohol from your parents or grandparents because, "You're an adult now."  Decline, because otherwise you just look guilty. Instead, focus your time on judging your high school friends on the final decision on the one who gained the most weight.

January-March – Stay inside because it most likely is cold.  Buy yourself some of the most conforming articles of clothing. (i.e. – Northface jackets, Ugg Boots, cut off sweatshirts leggings, etc.).  After winter break, join the gym and vow to be back in shape for summer.  Luckily, 40,000 other students feel the same way and will force you to wait in line for an hour to enter the gym. 

April – Head home for spring break, or make the wise choice to fly to an exotic island and do the same thing you did in your college town but in a warmer climate.  Could be interesting?

May – Go home, deal with the grades you "earned" and get ready for another great year at school!