Hey College Humor people! I am going to be contributing to this site for the very first time. I hope that I'm doing this right because I swear to god if I get rejected I will kill a baby. So here is my life interwoven with the disturbing images flooding this site. So yea, Lets go on this magical adventure together.
I have always been a long time fan to the College Humor website (Around two weeks-ish) BUT I have known about your fantastuchc site for around 2 years. That's right. I guess you can say this all started when my sister went of to college in the beautiful underwater Tulane New Orleans. I was able to pay several hobos and a hooker to sneak me into a bar under the cover of a trash can. While in this disguise I discovered a copy to the College Humor Guide To College. This, I can say with complete happiness, marked the start to my life as a god. Or just a kid who can't spell dooshe bag correctly. Either way, I was pumped. I took the book with me everywhere. I read and re read it constantly until I got home, got bored and left it in a pile of unused condoms next to my bed. (Let it be known they are still unused and shall remain that way for now)
I read that book so much, it was honestly the funniest thing that I have ever read. In all seriousness I believe that I got appendicitis that month because I laughed so hard from reading that book. It taught me so much about the world; it really did. So I thank you at College Humor for creating that book for us mortals to read and pray to.
After the whole midget incident of Oct. '08 I come out of the coma and became really interested in YouTube. I made some videos, (Which sucked and just made me look like a gigantic tool all over the internet) but that's not important. What is important is that I found a little channel called Derrick Comedy (Stylish) and was totally obsessed with those guys. I watched every video they had, over and over and over (May I point out the Self Defense lessons, which really came in handy when I was being mugged by my friend's sister at his house at 2 am?)
I was so obsessed with the comedic genius of these guys that I wanted to see more, so I decided to look at your channel. Until that point, I had always thought that College Humor was just a bunch of boring crap for people that didn't actually make it to college and are living at home using your website as a way to make themselves feel better while saying to themselves, "Man If I only could have studied harder in class instead of staring at that 90 year olds mustache." I know. Doesn't make much sense to me either.
So I started to look around, watched your stuff on YouTube and showed it to my friends. (Who at this point had decided that I was legally retarded and just let me be.) In class one day my big Asian friend (We just call him Big Asian Kid, or Bak for short. Seriously on the football roster for that year it said Bak and on the attendance it said Bak. Dude I totally started that thing! No I did! And that's what led to the beginning of the end of all my friendships. Anyways ) took out his iPod and let me watch it. I noticed that it had podcasts on it by you guys and I was so pumped I actually shit myself in class. Don't worry readers, it was totally awesome.
I ran to my computer and turned that thing on and decided to do the first thing on my mind. Check out some great hentia. (Who doesn't love the possibility a gigantic monster will come into your house with beautiful naked women and shoot out around, oh 15 penis's as arms and start having sex with them. I really wouldn't look at that, but wonder how the hell that thing would go to the bathroom. I guess Darwinism kinda slacked off their because that thing should be extinict by now. I mean think of all the STD's it could have contracted?) Then after that I went onto iTunes and downloaded every single podcast you guys had on iTunes. Obsessed right? So lets wrap this up because I have started to get off topic.
I came to your website to tell about my experiences and about what I find funny, and to prove to my parents that I am not a low life dead beat who is probably going to be a strip club DJ in Brocton (For those of you who don't know, Brocton is like, a place where all the other towns in Massasschuttes decided to stick all the black kids that wouldn't fit into Boston and just let them live their.) (Only joking) (But not really) So I just want to become a contributer to the College Humor website and join in on the fun. I love you all, and good luck at school. Look out for the naked man that runs around colleges having sex with random people.