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An Ode To An Unknowing Samaritan

Where is a Starbucks?
Have you seen a cafe?
How am I without
Internet today?

What a terrible feeling!
So helpless, so lost.
I’ll do what I must
No matter the cost.

I click on my airport
And what do I see?
A long list of names,
none familiar to me.

I see strings of letters,
And cute little names.
A dozen proud owners
Staking their claims.

“Don’s wifi” ones says
JESSweb” says the next.
All password protected
By numerical hex.

But what’s this I spy?
What spectre is this?
A single-word network
Named simply “Linksys”?

Your network is open
protected it’s not.
I’m hopping right on
You’re all that I’ve got.

So thanks be to you!
A great gift you’ve bestowed.
Now I must be going,
I’ve shit to download.


*Posted via stolen wifi. Thanks mystery neighbor!

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...Then I asked him for money.

Often, my parents text me while I'm in class. One day, we were doing a dissection lab and I had to text my dad 'I'm busy atm'. My dad came home later that day and, very angry, told me 'I'm NOT an ATM, I'm your father.' I had to explain to him that atm was shorthand for at the moment around three times to for him to get it.

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