Roommate #1: Dallas
Da’ las person you slept with got warts,
As soon as she took off her shorts.
So next time you’re gonna tap it,
Make sure that you wrap it,
Or you’ll get kicked if Debbie plays sports.
_____________________________________________________________
Roommate #2: Sean
Sean’s a black politician like Obama,
Who’s cultured and appreciates Noh Drama.
But when he gets drunk,
His words find the funk,
And loudly he bellows “YO’ MAMA!”
_____________________________________________________________
Roommate #3: Steve
Steve plays NBA Live as a Nugget,
Turn it off when you sleep? He says “fug it.”
All night the game will beep,
You ALSO fart in your sleep!
Why can’t you leave the room and unplug it?!
_____________________________________________________________
Ex-Roommate #4: Paul_____________________________________________________________
There’s no class that Paul did not fail,
He wasn’t smart enough to make it at Yale.
So he transferred to Harvard
Where speech is proper, not slur-urred
‘Cause they drink sparkling water – not ale.
_____________________________________________________________
Roommate #5: Ray
And then there’s my good old friend Ray,
Who likes to call everyone “gay.”
But it’s his sexuality I questioned,
When he saw a hot dog and mentioned:
“MMMM YUMMY I WANNA SWALLOW IT WHOLE!! HOORAY!”
_____________________________________________________________
Roommate #6: Jon
Jon’s shoes match his shirt – he’s got class.
Every Sunday he attends his Church Mass.
The man’s free from all sin:
When playing 7 Minutes in Heaven,
He’ll come out faster than Lance Bass.
_____________________________________________________________
Roommate #7: Will
Will bench presses each day to grow big,
Drinking protein shakes in one swig.
Though he’s strong as a tree,
(And way taller than me)
I’ve heard that his branch is a twig.
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