Things I Imagine: Two Chairs Talking

Chair #1: Dude, check me out. I got this sweet back rest installed today. So sick.
Chair #2: Whatever dude, you look the same to me. You only had to get it fixed cause fat people always sat on you.
#1: That’s cause I’m more comfortable looking than you, duh. Everychair in here knows that.
#2: Well, everychair in here also knows that you have a crush on the teachers chair.
#1: At least I like other chairs, that’s normal. I heard that you hooked up with the janitors mop before, you sick f*ck.
#2: Dude, you know that’s a lie. How could that even happen … ?
#1: You’re totally fantasizing about it, aren’t you?
#2: Shut up. Changing topics. What do you think of this chick sitting on me, huh? Total hottie, or what?
#1: Totes. If she leans a little over … BOOYAH!!! PANTY SHOT RIGHT HERE!!!
#2: Hell yeah- uh-oh, she’s getting up now. I think class is over.
#1: Meh, whatever, it wasn’t that good of a shot anyways.
#2: What do you want to do now? Go down to the bars and get plastered?
#1: Sounds like the BEST PLAN EVER! Lets go.
(Both chairs try to move but fail)
#1: …
(Both try again, and fail again)
#2: Oh yeah, that’s right. We’re chairs, we can’t move.
#1: Sh*t. Next class is here. Fatty incoming.
#2: (Breaks)