2. Being forced into a police lineup is a fun way to meet new friends.
3. There is a country out there somewhere producing men with accents like they have received a tracheotomy from a blind carpenter.
4. Wind is strong enough to blow Gabriel Byrne’s hair into a Beatles mop cut, but not strong enough to change the course of a flicked cigarette butt.
5. Stephen Baldwin is, in fact, capable of not stripping a film of all of its credibility.
6. Murdering your wife and kids instantly garners you legendary status within both the criminal underworld and law enforcement communities.
7. Drug deals are best done on highly elaborate and explosive watercrafts.
8. Upon joining the FBI, you are immediately transported to a time when smoking a cigar in an intensive care unit is the right thing to do.
9. Kevin Spacey looks stunning in a pin-striped suit and fedora.
10. You can fool a customs agent using only a coffee mug and the resolve to keep your hand contorted for 45 minutes.
11. Criminals are able to urinate with the precision of a table saw.
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Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
