Turning Tuesdays into Fundays!
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about women, it’s that they can’t stand peeing.
I was driving one day and I saw that someone spray painted “Thug For Life” across a bridge. Naturally, my grandparents thought it was a deplorable act, because they believe in the woman’s right to choose.
When I was a kid my dad always tried to live vicariously through me. It sure wasn’t easy being the only nine year old in my class who was bangin’ his father’s secretary.
Examples of Tommy Lee Jones and the US Judicial System being wrong.
1. The Fugitive2. U.S. Marshals
3. Double Jeopardy
1st degree burn: redness, pain at site of injury
2nd degree burn: superficial blistering
Liberal arts degree burn: have fun working at Costco!
2nd degree burn: superficial blistering
Liberal arts degree burn: have fun working at Costco!
Out of sight, out of mind. That’s just mean, since I don’t think ALL blind people crazy.
Tastier Foods Served at the Last Supper that I Would Happily Receive at Sunday Mass, Had Christ Chosen to Turn Them Into His Body Instead of Bread
1. Roasted lamb2. Pomegranate
3. Fried fish
4. Grapes
5. Double Stuf Oreos
Richard Simmons’ Senior Citizen Workout Tapes
-Sweatin’ to Miles Davis-Sweatin’ to the Golden Girls theme
-Defecatin’ to the Oldies
-Remembrin’ your grandkids’ names
My grandfather always told me dime is money. He was full of obvious advice.
15 Phrases You'll Hear During Finals Week, and What They Really Mean
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
What Your Ski Tracks Say About You
Five NEXT-LEVEL Handshakes
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
Siri, what is the temperature... because I just got burned!
Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
Forever a zone
The other side of Adele's story
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
