Pizza God® Applies for Front End Developer

An ideal candidate would answer yes to the following
Do you code entirely with css/html (no tables)? Are you kidding? I gave up on MySpace after two minutes.
Can you solve cross browser issues? I can’t even fix my own problems with FireFox.
Do you code semantically? Code semantic-what now?
Do you like to validate your code? I like to validate my existence, that’s why I need this job.
Would you enjoy working in a fast paced environment with small agiledevelopment teams? Has to be better thanworking in a pizza place with a bunch of idiots.
Do you love to learn, and adopt new technologies? So I take it we aren’t going to be using BASIC.

Requirements
* Fluent in xHTML Is that like C ?
* Fluent in CSS table-less layouts No.
* Fluent in Javascript, AJAX, DHTML and the DOM I can do Java, not well, but I can do that.
* Knowledgeable about cross browser issues, and how to fix them See above.
* Strong attention to detail, pixel perfect precision I’m guessing that means “close” isn’t good enough.
* Proficient with Adobe Creative Suite, especially Photoshop and dealing withweb graphics I can rock the shit out ofMS Paint.
* Comfortable with PHP, MYSQL Pot, Heroinand Percocet? More of Your Stupid Questions, Lisa?