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Dan Amerman

As if finals weren't bad enough...

by Dan Amerman on

So this has been a pretty crappy week for everyone because of finals, but I feel like God has been especially pissed at me recently. Nothing seems to be going my way. I figured that there must be other people out there going through the same thing, so I decided to share my struggles with you all in solidarity. Best of luck with finals – let’s hope things improve soon.


Monday:

-The day before finals start. There is a tradition that the night before finals start a lot of people streak through our main library at midnight, so I participated. I saw my ex-girlfriend streaking about 10 minutes in and remembered how hot she is. I popped a renob in the periodicals room.

Tuesday:

-My hamster Sven died on Tuesday from dysentary. I buried him in the quad as part of a very nice ceremony.

-#2 Pencil prices went up at the Bookstore. The cashier blames it on “supply and demand.” I’ll have to look that up before this Sunday’s Econ final.

Wednesday:

-My “History of the American Civil War” final was at 9am. I started studying at 2am on Tuesday night but promptly fell asleep at my desk, not waking up till 8:45am. I wikipediad “civil war,” read the opening summary, and ran to the lecture hall thoroughly unprepared.

-It rained Wednesday and unearthed Sven. I found this out when I stepped on him barefoot while playing a post-final game of ultimate frisbee. I missed the catch.

Thursday:

-I received this email today from my chem professor:



-Today I also accidentally walked in on my roommate wacking it. He was squatting naked on top of my desk.

Friday:

-I’ll probably get hit by a car.
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