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Alison: Why she is the hottest college girl, EVER!

by that Guy on

The sun isn’t hot enough, Jesus wasn’t perfect enough (with all due respect, and no blasphemy), little brown wiener dogs aren’t cute enough to match up to her. There isn’t another girl on earth who looks like her and likes Edward Norton movies. She will be the hottest teacher ever, and I don’t mean just for English teachers, which I have had many of. She is a girl who has seen Super Size Me and still admits that she likes McDonalds. She is a girl who wears a shirt that references Billy Madison, and does it to be funny instead of just wearing it because she thinks she looks cute. She is a girl who hails from Wisonsin, so she is a break from the monotonous mold of Cali girls and Southern Belles. And just when you thought she had it all, she’s only a freshman! Let her four year reign as the hottest college girl begin and prosper. God Bless the University of Wisonsin.

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Whiny inmate

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.