Comedy Central Schedules Their Lineup For The Month Of May

(Three executives in a small boardroom at Viacom headquarters)
Executive 1: Okay, so, new episodes of Reno 911?
Executive 2: Those should be ready by the end of the month, yeah.
Exec 1: Right, I think that just about covers everything.
Executive 3: Wait, we didn’t talk about—
Exec 2: No, that’s absolutely everything, let’s get the hell out of here.
Exec 3: But there’s still new episodes of Mind—
Exec 1: What, sorry, can’t hear you, moving on.
Exec 3: Mind of—
Exec 1: NO.
(Brief pause)
Exec 3: Mindofmencia!
(Exec 1 hangs his head, while Exec 2 breaks the pencil he was holding)
Exec 3: Well, they’ve got a whole block of new episodes already filmed, it’d be kind of a waste—
Exec 2: Umm, yeah, about that…we were thinking about sliding that show off the table this year.
Exec 3: …WHAT?
Exec 1: Yeah, there’s been a lot of negative feedback regarding that show.
Exec 2: And it’s really not that funny. I mean, when we first offered him that contract, he promised he would be really edgy, but all he’s given us are the same jokes on the same stereotypes, week after week.
Exec 3: But—he’s really quick-witted and controversial!
Exec 2: NO.
Exec 3: But—
Exec 1: We said no.
Exec 3: Well—if you don’t put those new episodes up, I’m withholding that one-hour comedy special that you’ve got posted for the 18th.
Exec 1: You can’t do that.
Exec 3: (holds up DVD, threatening to destroy it) Yes I can.
(Execs 1 and 2 look at each other and sigh)
Exec 1: Fine. We’ll start airing new episodes of Mind of Mencia on the 21st.
Exec 3: Good. And here is that special.
(Tosses DVD to Exec 2)
Exec 2: “Carlos Mencia: Performance Enhanced?!?”
Exec 3: I want wall-to-wall advertising for both through the entire month.
Exec 1: And just who the hell do you think you are?!
(Exec 3 rips off mask to reveal that he is Carlos Mencia)
Carlos: Also I want to smash TVs in a warehouse to promote the show.
Exec 2: That doesn’t even make sense.
Carlos: I’m OUT, bitches!
(Carlos kicks door down and storms out)
Exec 1: Wow.
(Execs shuffle through papers wordlessly, not looking at each other)
Exec 2: Oh, Dane Cook wants to do another show in July sometime.
Exec 1: Fuck that guy.