College Humor Presents: Students of Genius

Today we salute you, Mr. Fratastic:

Even though you come from an upper class neighborhood, you know the difference between a rifle and a shotgun and everyone respects the Ducks Unlimited stickers on your Z-71 tahoe. Your undying love for Jack Daniels, G.W. Bush, and Texas country is only surpassed by your undying love for Natty Light and deck shoes. With your Ray Ban’s radiating a deep ocean blue frattyness to the world, you are the purveyor of and reason behind every greek movie in the last twenty years. You invented the beer bong, mastered the keg stand, screamed at your pledges and later called them brother for putting up with it.

Alumni have jobs waiting for you after college, and class is optional. Your Polo Blue scented force field takes the breath away from every sorority girl you pass and the life of every squirrel on campus that comes within six feet. Take tomorrow off to play a little Tiger Woods and clean your sperry’s, because you deserve it. So kick back at the frat castle, take off your fratty Titleist hat and North Face jacket and grab an ice cold beer, oh Prince of the paddle, because we all know… you can afford it.

Brought to you by Brody Sportsmonfrieger