Staff Picks

Joe Patterson

The Evil Leprechaun

by Joe Patterson on

Leprechaun: Psst. Need some luck?

Boy: Who are you?

Leprechaun: I’m a leprechaun, asshole. What did you think? The Irish Gary Coleman?

Boy: Point taken.

Leprechaun: Here, try this out. It’s a lucky rabbit’s foot.

Boy: Aw gee! This is fantastic. And you say it’ll give me luck?

Leprechaun: You bet your balls it will.

Boy: Aw gee! Got any more?

Leprechaun: Yeah, I got three.

(Dumps out bag, showing a rabbit with one leg amputated)

Leprechaun: Which one will it be?

Boy: I… I dunno. That’s pretty intense.

Leprechaun: You want to be lucky, don’t you?

Boy: I just never thought about where the legs came from.

Leprechaun: Surprise.

Boy: Can’t you give me something else? You’re a leprechaun. Surely there’s something else.

Leprechaun: Yeah, no problem.

(Cuts open rabbit’s stomach. Pennies spill out)

Leprechaun: Lucky penny?

Boy: Ugh!

Leprechaun: This one has your birth year on it.

See More Popular Articles
Like this Article
URL Close
Joe Patterson

Joe Patterson

View Profile
Recent Articles
More
uPick
Idiotech Technology fails See All »
Up +7 Down
Bacteria

I work as an it-wizzard (according to the it-illeterate) at a big company. Some day I was reading about left-turning barteria on a carton of yogurt. That moment my boss walked in and asked me if it was possible to get information out of an specific database. It was one of those days that I had all the work I could handle so I answered: No, thats not possible because we only... Read More » have right-turning disks in the server where the database was. He looked at me, a little insecure, siad "oh, ok" and walked off. It still puts a smile on my face.