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Jake Hurwitz

The Weekly WYR: May 29th

by Jake Hurwitz on

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

  • Get food poisoning every time you eat your favorite meal, or have a seizure every time you watched your favorite show? From Kacie
  • Have AIDS, but access to modern treatment, or have haunted semen? From Zach
  • Live in a mansion with nothing in it, or live in a hut with as much stuff that’ll fit? From Boba
  • Own the De Lorean from Back to the Future, or the Batmobile? From Sara
  • Have a hangover cure that truly works, or have guilt free condom-less sex forever? From prof.
  • The LOST ending suck, or never have an ending to LOST? From Zach
  • Have a last name everyone made fun of, or a last name no one could pronounce? From Jason

Finally, this week’s winner of the WHO CARES IT’S AMY SMART Award is Matt, who sent in this.

  • Have sex with Amy Smart or not be subjected to a cocktail of sexually transmitted diseases? From Matt

Come on Matt, sometimes you just have to bite the f*cking bullet.

If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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Jake Hurwitz

Jake Hurwitz

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I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
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Search and Siezure

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.