God Ruins Another Promising Porn Career

                     

          God, creator of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, is responsible for the premature end of what appeared to be a promising career in the adult entertainment industry, authorities said Wednesday.
            Cheyenne Serene, Hustler “Honey” for December 2006 and AVN Breakthrough Performer of 2007 (Mr. Magorium’s Masturbatorium), announced her retirement from the porn business in a written statement on her website, clubcheyenne.net, citing reasons of personal and moral conflict.
            “For to [sic] long now I have been living a empty and broken live,” the statement read.  “As for now I must follow my heart and give my self holely [sic] to my lord and saveor [sic] Jesus Christ.”
             Serene, 19, an exotic dancer and part time student, broke into the adult entertainment industry on the insistence of her former boyfriend and agent, Ed Schut.
            “Fucking shame,” Schut said at a press conference held inside his 1997 Ford Festiva where he was warming a hot dog with the car’s cigarette lighter.  “Who does this God think he is?  Poaching my girl… uppity faggot fuck.”
            Serene’s retirement marks the latest in an alarming trend of young women who have turned their backs on careers as porn starlets in service of the Lord.  In the past two years, over 87 on screen performers and fluffers have left the porn industry to pursue mission work or real estate.
            God, currently speaking at an abstinence seminar at Lyons High School in Lyons, KS, was unavailable for comment.  As of press time Serene, going now by her birth name Laura McGoflan, plans to star in the latest installment of God’s semi-popular anti-erotica series Butt Fuck Sluts Repent #17.