Yes! You CAN Write an Article for CollegeHumor

How many times have you read an article on CollegeHumor and thought to yourself that it really can’t be that difficult to write something as good, only to lose your motivation when that marathon of I Love the 80s reruns came on? That’s all in the past now, because now you can write an article for CollegeHumor that is as good as the pros. With this guide, you’ll be on the front page as fast as any of those paid writers!

What It Takes to Create Greatness

Do you have a keyboard? Fingers? Have you wondered why magnificent prose doesn’t appear when you touch these two objects together? This is a common mistake. In order to create a great CollegeHumor article, you must know how to type. And that’s it. To allow that inner comedic genius to flow out of your fingertips, all you must do is make the keys reflect your thougts. After you learn this skill, you’re ready. Read on to begin picking and poking your way to fame.

Keys to Success

1. Photoshopping Common Things on the Internet

Browsing the Internet can get really boring. You check your social networking sites eighteen times a day, and you take five minutes out of every hour to read every away message in your buddy list. The best way to create many, many different versions of hilarity is to take these things, and change them just enough so that they look real.  However, the key is that the words are just way too ridiculous or comical to be real.  People will be only able to respond in one way after reading this – promptly laughing until they wet their pants.

From IM conversations and away messages to Facebook (never, ever misses) and Craigslist. Nothing is off limits. No one would really break up over Flickr AND Wikipedia at the same time, would they? Oh yeah, they will be soon on the front page of CollegeHumor!

2. People Talking

With this option, dialog is typed clearly for easy digestion. Exposition is for squares.

Person 1: I’m saying something.
Person 2: I’m responding.
Person 1: I’ve now said something crazy that changes the reader’s perception of what we were talking about!

This can also work on multiple levels. Just think – you come up with a funny dialog between characters, and want to be immortalized on CollegeHumor. Take that dialog, and photoshop it into an AIM window. Gold. Pure gold. Even better than gold, actually. What’s better than gold? That warm feeling inside knowing you’re about to be eternally loved.

3. Cultural References

Sometimes, I wish sentences could be made completely from nouns so no typing would be wasted on anything other than references to popular things now or at a time in the past.  The next best option is to put these suckers in as many places as possible.

Similarly, you can also base an article completely off of nostalgic memories of a cultural phenomenon. Think of a TV show you watched when you were seven years old. Then, think of a ridiculously hilarious situation that would never actually be a storyline on the show. What did you come up with? Wishbone is being neutered, and all of the stories he’s imagining parallel his sad situation? Make sure you write it in the style of a movie script, and you could try photoshopping a scared Wishbone at the vet. How did you do that so quickly? You should probably put some pants on – I can see your genius.

Get Out There and Succeed!

And there you have it. With these tools and only a little bit of imagination, the magical combinations of letters and symbols that you create will be printing literally millions of Internet dollars just for you. The great thing is that you can mix and match any combination for great results. Get out there and show the world that you are a first class comedy writer!

This is Part Two of a continuing series.
Part One: Yes! You CAN Get Laid in a Dorm Room (and other useful anecdotes)