Stop Calling It "The Google"

My parents recently heard about Vonage, and were thinking of changing the phone service for our house, but they wanted to ask our neighbors who used that service if it was good first. The next time my dad saw them, he said, “I heard you and your wife were using bondage. Do you like it?”
From Christine, VCU

I aced a physics exam, and when I told my parents my mom responded, “Thats great! You should put that up on youtube.” I’m still a little confused, but I think she believes that youtube is like a giant internet refrigerator.
From Jeffrey

I was eating with my parents at Burger King and the sign outside said, “TRY OUR NEW INDY DOUBLE WHOPPER, FREE WI FI”
They thought it meant “free with fries.”
From Zach, Hastings College

My mother has never sent, nor attempted to send me a text message ever before. Earlier today, I inexplicably found this waiting for me on my phone: “We r on ca nif eigh six mail gmom”. Anyone want to take a crack at what she meant to say?
From Jeffrey

My mom just told me that she has been paying for America Online service for 10 years. No one in my family has signed on to America Online in at least 9 years.
From Please make this anonymous if you choose to publish this because I am embarrassed that this has been going on for so long.