What Your Favorite 90's Toys and Fads Say About You Today

Everyone had their favorite toys or fads growing up, it just so happens that if you grew up in the 90’s, you really had the best. I decided to take a look at some of the more popular of these, and analyze what they say about your life today. Enjoy.

Furby: You are somewhere in L.A. giving tub jobs and blow jobs under a freeway overpass.

Goosebumps: You only bought these for the covers, and you have yet yet read any book in it’s entirety.

Tamagotchi: You seriously love shit, cleaning up shit, and shit of any kind. You are a fecal aficionado. (Wait, Tamagotchi DIDN’T come up on my spell check?)

G.I. Joe: You are currently in Iraq, getting your ass shot up.

Laser Pointers: You are a peeping tom, and you are in jail.

Magic Eye Books: You are only 21, but you already have Glaucoma.

Pogs: You have been trapped in your house for years because it is packed to the brim with Pokemon cards, Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Kids, Trolls, and of course – Pogs. You simply can’t resist any bullshit fad.

Slap Bracelets: You cut yourself daily and are probably fat.

Magic The Gathering: Virgin.

Power Rangers: You are a total frat-daddy, and a hyper masculine bro. But, you question your sexuality on the hour, every hour.

Talkboy: Your dream was to utilize the Talkboy with the efficiency that Kevin McCallister did in Home Alone. Since this is impossible, you now own a store that only sells glass Turtle Dove’s.

L.A. Lights: Damn, you are probably fly as shit.

Pokemon: You never overcame your intense ADHD and you tour the country doing speed Rubik’s Cube competitions.

Bowlcuts: You have serious problems with premature ejaculation.

Rat-tails: You have serious problems reading at a third grade level.

Ninja Turtles: You love to party and you have sex with hot chicks five times a day. If Turtles were your favorite, you lived the 90’s right.