A Gentleman Is A Lion

From our friends at TheFoggyMonocle.com

While a gentleman is certainly a cerebral creature, he is also in touch with his animal side. Instinctual by nature, a gentleman will revert to a Neolithic hunter-gatherer when forced to provide for his family and/or entourage. These primal tactics also extend to the realm of a gentleman’s sexual needs. Like a cunning lion stalking his prey on the plains of Africa, a gentleman – especially one grappling with a fierce libido — will sometimes pounce on the easiest and quickest prize. Now some of you might want to scream, “nooo,” imploring the gentleman to wait for a female more to his liking, but this is not your battle to fight, and you must allow nature to take its course.

CuriousMan: It feels like I am marinating
CuriousMan: in my own pool of hungover juices
CuriousMan: specifically my sweaty ass
AnimalMan: you said it kimosabe
AnimalMan: i’m considering setting up office on the toilet today
CuriousMan: sounds reasonable, why not kill two birds with one stone?
AnimalMan: i do pride myself in efficiency
AnimalMan: why else would I decide to only drink Irish Carbombs last night?
CuriousMan: they are delicious
AnimalMan: indeed
AnimalMan: hell of a thursday night
AnimalMan: WTF did we do?
CuriousMan: the details escape me
CuriousMan: wait…
CuriousMan: wait…I am having…yes, I am having a vision
CuriousMan: hahaha I just remembered!
AnimalMan: what?
CuriousMan: do you remember leaving john and I at the bar and disappearing into the bathroom with that chick?
AnimalMan: Oh god
CuriousMan: she was busted!
CuriousMan: what was her name again?
AnimalMan: Oh god…
CuriousMan: hahahaha, nice work.
AnimalMan: I did not need to be reminded of that
CuriousMan: what did you do with her? please, let it be awful.
AnimalMan: a gentleman does not kiss and tell
CuriousMan: Please tell me. I’m bored, hungover and I need this.
AnimalMan: I honestly don’t remember
CuriousMan: pfff course you do
AnimalMan: let’s just say I’ve done far worse things in a bathroom before
CuriousMan: degenerate
AnimalMan: listen, when it comes to the females, I’m like a lion. I go for the ones that can’t keep up with the rest of the pack. the ones with a limp, the fat ones, the weak.
CuriousMan: hahahaha
AnimalMan: satisfied?
CuriousMan: I feel like I’ve just been watching Animal Planet.