5 minutes before you submit: Man this article is going to be epic. I'm not so hot on photoshop, but I google'd some pics that really encapsulate my article's theme. This stuff is so damned funny, it'll go national for sure. I don't even need flashy pictures of girls in thongs, the innate hilarity of this article alone will push it to at least 100 likes. I even made sure to take out the swearing so that my article goes front page. I am the shiz.

Submission: And that, my friends, is history. I've had a rough start on this site. People didn't respond to my article on why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would totally hang out with me if they weren't to busy or whatever, but that's all behind me now. Now I'm finally going to get the respect of all the people on this site who called me a gay-wad. Yeah first comes their respect, then comes the girls who live way too far away from me telling me I should check them out if ever I'm in Delaware. Sure I don't know their full name, their address, their phone number, or any other way of contacting them, but who cares? As soon as they read this article, they'll feel my awesomeness from a mile away and come to me. Yeah, that's how you pick up girls: with internet comedy.

5 minutes after submission: Better check my email to see if they accepted my article yet. Ha! "If" of course they did! How could they not? The staff is probably just reading it among themselves appreciating the subtleties of my wit, laughing at my every pun and turn of phrase. I wonder who likes it more? Sarah definitely gets my humor. I mean just look at the restraining order she sent after my three hundredth email. She even signed it herself.

Nope no emails yet. I bet they're sending it to Ricky Van Veen himself for his approval to automatically give my article "Classic" status. Sweet.



10 minutes after submission: Hey! I got a new comment, before it even finished being reviewed. Man this article is going like hot cakes. Let's read it.


Great a future poster. Now my perfect article gets tainted by this ass-clown's douchebaggery. Let's refresh the screen to see if anyone has nailed him on it yet. Oh wait! he edited. He obviously realized that this article was way too good for such a bad first comment.