Dave's Speech Impediment

Dave: Hey… Janet?

Janet: Yes, Dave?

Dave: Do you think you can let me know when Steph makes it into the office this morning? I… have something for her.

Janet: Um, sure thing, Dave. How would you like to be contacted?

Dave: Oh, here, let me give you my… extension.

Janet: Dave, please.

Dave: What?

Janet: You always have to make dirty comments and I’m sick of it. Ugh, you make me so goddamn uncomfortable!

Dave: No no no, it’s a speech impediment I have! You’ve got to… trust me on this.

Janet: Oh yeah? Why didn’t it happen before I lost all that weight?!

Dave: Now you’re just… pulling stuff out of your ass wink

Janet: And what was that?!

Dave: Nervous tick.

Janet: You’re so full of it, Dave.

Dave: It’s all the yelling, I swear! It just makes things… harder… on me wink

Janet: I can’t… I can’t even talk to you. This is too weird.

Dave: I’m sorry, but I mean, imagine what it’s like to be me! Just the other day I was at my father-in-law’s funeral. Let’s just say whoever decided to call death “going stiff” needs to die.

Janet: Wow, I never thought of it that way. chuckles You’ve got to admit though, that’s pretty funny.

Dave: Don’t laugh at me, you cunt.

Janet: …

Dave: wink