I. Love. Coffee.

I woke up around 11:45am today, jumped in the shower, washed the last days filth and failure off, got out and was ready for the day. But not quite. One more thing had to happen for me to be even close to throwing myself into this ever changing world. Coffee. I love coffee. For those of you who do not know what coffee is, I am not going to explain it, because if this is the case, I would like you to jump head first into a high powered ceiling fan.

I’m getting off track, allow me to jump right back on…..and….i’m on.

So, let us go over what makes coffee so great. Obviously, it is a drinkable liquid, so we must define what makes some drinkable liquids better than others. First off, the taste. Now coffee has a very special ability, it can morph, a lot like the power rangers, only coffee does not get giant dinosaur robots, it get sugar and cream, but they are basically the same thing. Me personally, I enjoy putting enough sugar and cream into my Columbian slave vanilla mocha blend coffee to kill a small horse.

The second thing you have to notice about coffee is that, at its best, itis a hot beverage. Now, I know what you are thinking, and no, I do not mean that coffee would win Miss America or anything because of its drop dead gorgeous looks, although, I do believe if the coffee I drank entered into certain state pageants, I would come out on top everytime. cough West Virginia cough What I mean is that when it hits the lips and tongue area this liquid is the opposite of cold, which is perfect, because in the morning, I like to enjoy hot liquids. That is apersonal view on liquids in the morning and I do not plan on you to share it with me, although you might, and if you do, take comfort in the fact that you are right and everyone else is wrong.

So, let us go over what we have so far. Coffee is great because: It is a liquid. It is drinkable. It is hot. And, It is awesome. I am no expert, but I believe that is a full proof argument, and if any experts would like to state otherwise, I will scold you with hot coffee. Metaphorically speaking, of course, except not, and with lots of real burning hot coffee. And possibly lava. Yeah…lava works too, but don’t drink it, that turns out badly, take my word on it.