Conscience Deciding Whether to Greet a Passerby

Angel: Look up ahead! That girl from your Biology discussion last semester is walking toward you. You should definitely say hi!

Devil: No, don’t listen to him— you don’t even remember her name do you? 

Angel: It’s Lauren…Lauren Walker. Just be friendly and say hi! If you remember her, she should remember you.

Devil: That’s so creepy that you remember her full name. You never hung out with her outside of that discussion. She’ll be sketched out if you say hi.

Angel: That doesn’t make any sense. It’s just the nice thing to do. Plus, you two had a lot of good talks. Before one class she asked you for the sports section of your paper, and then you guys talked about how much the football team sucked.

Devil: That was like four months ago. You haven’t even seen her since then. Just play it cool and pretend like you don’t see her.

Angel: Oh and remember that one time you guys talked about The Office? You did the impression of Jim doing an impression of Dwight. “Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” She laughed so hard at that!

Devil: There’s no way she remembers that. Listen, girls like guys who play hard to get. You can’t just be greeting every one you’ve ever talked to like some sort of desperate loser.

Angel: How is she going to be interested if you never talk to her again? Anyway, it doesn’t matter— you just made eye contact. You can’t pretend like you haven’t seen her now.

Devil: Don’t worry about the eye contact. Go with the cell phone move. Right before she passes you, pull out your cell phone like you just got a text message. That way, she’ll think you’re both uninterested AND popular.

Angel: Not the cell phone move again! You know how ashamed you feel afterward. Do the right thing and say hi.

Devil: Just see what she does first. If she says hi, then you can respond. Put the ball in her court.

Angel: Why are you so insecure?

Devil: Quick, she’s right here. Pull out that cell phone!…See? She didn’t acknowledge you either.

Angel: What a bitch.