The Statue of David: The Untold Story

David Casucci, a mildly succesful Italian merchant, is walking down the street to work one morning when he runs into an old friend.

Michelangelo: David Casucci, right?
David: Oh my god, Michelangelo? God, I haven’t seen you since graduation, how are you?
Michelangelo: Good, good. I’ve been doing some sculpting and painting.
David: Yeah, I know, I just saw Pieta for the first time, it’s really amazing.
Michelangelo: Thanks, thanks. Well, I’m glad I ran into you because I just finished my latest scultpture, and I’m naming it after you because you actually inspired me to create it.
David: No way! Thank you so much, that’s awesome.
Michelangelo: Yeah I’m really proud of it. In fact, I’m confident it will be viewed and analyzed centuries from now, probably until the end of time.
David: I’m so honored, thank you. 
Michelangelo: No problem.
David: So, describe it to me.
Michelanglo: Um, ok, well remember sophomore year when you convinced Angela Piscoti that I had a small dick, and she told her friends, and pretty soon everyone called me Little Dickelangelo and no girl in school would go out with me for like a year?
David: Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. I remember you kept saying you were going to get me back in a big way someday. I’m glad you were the bigger man and didn’t, though.
Michelangelo: Well, that’s not entirely accurate.