... Best Birthday Wishes

Cheryl: I can’t thank you all enough for coming out to our lil’ Rebecca’s second birthday, especially after all the turmoil and chaos of Gary and I separating. i>Tearing up I know, I know today is a day for celebration so let’s start th —

Gary enters and SLAMS the door shut behind him, sweating profusely with the musk of a man who’s had a few too many after-work shots with the boys.

Gary: (slurring) Where’s MY little girl?

Cheryl: Jesus Gary, not now! You can’t just barge into my house anymore.

Gary: Your house? That’s funny! YOUR house? MY HOUSE saddlebags! And Becca’s MY girl too so I have every right to be here for her birthday.

Cheryl: Let’s just try and be civil for once. Please.

Gary: Is this chump in the black and white camo your new boy toy? Your new pet holding my goddamn daughter as she wears the pink outfit I bought for her! How many times did you ride him on my La-Z-Boy, Cheryl? How many times?!?

Cheryl: You’re drunk Gary. Seek help.

Gary: Just answer me one question. Does he f*ck you as softly as I do?

Cheryl: That’s your brother Richard, he’s here for the birthday party Gary.

Gary: Jesus you really are a dirty slut. Well I have a present for YOU Cheryl.
Motions towards door Come in Candi, the party’s just getting started.

Candi enters causing everyone to shift uncomfortably in their seats

Cheryl: She looks like a prostitute.
 
Gary: Wrong again Cheryl! She’s a hooker. Now who wants to do a shot? I’m going to do a shot. Shots?

Richard goes to stand up

Cheryl: Sit down Richard. We’re about to sing Happy Birthday to Becca. We’d all appreciate it if the both of you just left.

Gary: Then two shots for my baby girl on her birthday it is! Turn around Candi.

Gary grabs her from behind, bends her over and pours a nip of vodka onto the small of her back