An Increasingly Drunk Guy at a Party Reviews Movies

For the first installation of An Increasingly Drunk Guy atat Party Reviews Movies, we present a review of an old favorite: Independence Day.

Wait, dude, you don’t like Independence Day? Are you insane,what’s not to like? It’s got Aliens, stuff blowing up, and Will Smith! Ok,remember when he punches the alien and goes, “Welcome to Earth.” Come on, thatwas awesome! And remember how the ship had a force field. That was such a good twist!

3 Beers Later

…plus it had that other guy. You know who I’m talking about.No, dude, dude, just listen for a second, he’s the one from the dinosaur movie.Jeff…Jeff…Goldblum, Jeff Goldblum! Come on, when he and Will Smith were in thatspaceship, that was so sick. And, Area 51, it was so secret and stuff, but itturned out to be a good hideout. Dude, dude! We should build a treehousetomorrow! Nah, I’m just kidding, but seriously, a treehouse would be awesome.

3 Beers Later

…ha ha ha ha! Remember when he almost crashes the ship, andhe’s all like, oops! Oops! Oh man that was so funny. Hey, you dropped yourbeer. (Imitating Jeff Goldblum) Oops!See what I did there? Get it? ¼/span>Ooooops! Ooooops. I wish I could write like that.

3 Beers Later

…spaceships the size of cities! Cities dude! WE BUILT THISCITY ON ROCK AND ROLL! Ugh, I love singing. What? No. I will not quiet down ifyou don’t accept that Indeplendence Day….Inemplendendence Day….Independence dayis the greatest movie of all time! Listen, I may not be able to feel my faceright now, but I could sure feel the emotion when the black guy meets up with that girl in the middle of LA.

3 Beers Later

…I love you man, I really do, but you’ve got it all wrong.Here, let me call my ex-girlfriend. Jenny! Jeeeeeeeny! Remember that scenewhere the guy flys his plane into the spaceship? Wasn’t that bitchin? No,its…it’s Rob. Hey, do you want to come over to my place later to watch it or something?

3 Beers Later

…screw you! The president was the guy from the Might Ducks!Look it up, I’m so much smarter in movies than you are. It is him! How elsewould he have used the Flying V do defeat the space monsters. I’m awesome!

3 Beers Later

…(Words inaudible. Sounds of vomit hitting both thetoilet, and the bathroom floor.)