Diary of a College Realtor

May 3, 2008

College kids totally getting out of school soon and are gonna be bangin’ down my door for September apartments. Its honestly like shooting fish in a barrel, I cant even contain myself! Put the company logo on the side of my Jeep Cherokee today, BOO YAH!

May 21, 2008

Showed that dump on N. Margin Street today, the idiots are gonna take it! Totes didnt see the dead rat behind the sink. Glad they didnt run the shower and notice that motor oil actually comes out. Sick roof deck tho!

June 5, 2008

Bought a dope ass holder for my cell phone that goes on my belt, automatic panty dropper. Sold the 3-bed on Salem Street, got a full fee plus dinner out of those suckers, they’ll be evicted by October. Score one for the bad guys!

August 3, 2008

Made like 6 appointments for today at 8 AM and totally just didnt go, I’m a legend. Made sure my cell was off too. Some chicks signed a lease yesterday and I slipped in “Must give realtor weekly BJ” in the adendum section. SLUTS!

September 1, 2008

Angry mob was at the office when I showed up, already hate their places. I bizzounced before anyone saw me, maybe those fags will remember to sign up for housing next year. Realtor out!