-Ewww, why is she all sticky?

-Well, she was camera-shy at first, but by the end she was smiling for us and crawling on all fours like a pro.

-She gets up at all hours of the night begging for more!

-Don't worry, that rash will go away in a couple of days.

-What is that smell?

-Just be a man and stick it in her butt.

-She really likes to be on her back.

-Isnt that the cutest little backside you ever saw?

-Wow, look at her suck on that breast!

-She has more toys than I've ever seen before, and she's used them in ways I never thought possible.

And to help finish it on a low note:

-We can't figure out why, but she cries every time her father is around.

Special thanks to Daniel Eric Lopez for his input on this article http://www.collegehumor.com/user:655556