Has my father been sent to the cornfield? ‘Cause this is a dream come true!
I figured I had failed my company’s drug test because I put “C” for every answer. Turns it they just wanted a urine sample. I was really high that day.
Rhetorical Answer
Q: What disease would you just kill yourself if you had??A: Depression.
The grass is always greener when you are not color blind.
Live-Blogging A Comedy Show
10:31 – LOL10:32 – LOL
10:34 – LOL
10:35 – ROFL
10:36 – GTG
Who was the second person to say history repeats itself?
Open-Minded Film Critic
“I’m not trying to say Dumb and Dumber is a better movie than Schindler’s List, but it is a better comedy.”Punctuation Changes Everything
I hate sex. And the city.Women Are A Lot Like Cats
No matter how much raw fish you give them, they’ll still think you’re weird and ignore you.2 Ways to Piss Off Coffee Shop Baristas
1. Know nothing about coffee
2. Know everything about coffee
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I Got Fired From My Job.
Apparently “Casual Friday” doesn’t mean you get to throw the word “fag” around.
Snack-Time Choices From Increasingly Lazy Fathers
-“Peanut butter and jelly?”-“Peanut butter or jelly?”
-“Peanut, butter, or jelly?”
-“Pea, nut, butter, or jelly? Keep in mind we’re out of jelly.”
The worst kind of surprise party is an intervention.
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How Creepy You Are, as Determined by Your Pets
Five NEXT-LEVEL Handshakes
10 Roommate Red Flags
Drinking Games for the Mature Adult
10 Ways to Make the Internet Better
Every Time a Bell Rings
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
