Rick the Stick: Amateur Porn Star/Driving Instructor

Rick The Stick:  What’s your name pretty girl?
Lisa:  Lisa.
Rick The Stick:  Alright Lisa.  Well, we will be driving that white Yukon over there.
Lisa:  Wow, that’s big…
Rick The Stick:  Tell me something I don’t know…
The two enter the car
Rick The Stick:  I forgot how tight this feels.
Lisa:  Umm, maybe you can adjust your seat?
Rick The Stick: It’s super warm, too.
Lisa: Should I put on the a/c?
Rick The Stick:  Don’t be silly angel.  It feels good.
Lisa:  …Oh, Ok.
Lisa turns on car
Lisa:  Alright, well I checked all my mirrors, my seat belt is fastened, I’m ready to go.
Rick The Stick:  Ready to go?  Already?  Amateur.  I could go all day… And I do.
Lisa:  Huh?  Ok, well I’m going to pull out of the parking lot then.
The car pulls out onto an empty street
Rick The Stick:  Oh baby, to the right.  To the right baby.  Oh yeah, just like that.
Lisa:  Is this good?
Rick The Stick:  Yeah, keep going.  Keep going.  Nice.
Lisa:  Faster?
Rick The Stick:  Just a little.
Lisa:  Good?
Rick The Stick:  A little faster.  Yes.  Perfect.  You’re doing so good.  Is this your first time?
Lisa:  No, I’ve been out with my dad a few times.
Rick The Stick:  You sick bitch. I love it.
Lisa:  Excuse me?
Rick The Stick:  Quiet. Make sure you are using your hands correctly.
Lisa:  Like this?
Rick The Stick:  Higher.  Lower.  There!
Lisa:  This feels a little awkward.
Rick The Stick:  That’s what she said!
Rick’s cell rings
Rick The Stick:  Hey Boss? What’s that? You want me to come in? Ok, I’m coming.
Rick hangs up cell
Lisa:  We’ve only been doing it for like forty-five seconds.
Rick The Stick:  I’m sorry, angel.
Lisa:  This was hardly even worth me coming out here…
Rick The Stick:  Doll, I said I’m sorry. I usually go for days.
Rick’s cell rings again
Rick The Stick:  “Boss, I said I’m coming! I am coming, sir!” I’m coming!
Lisa:  This is ridiculous…
Rick The Stick:  I’m com….
Lisa:  …you just jizzed your pants…
Rick The Stick:  I love my job.

Jason Michaels is the Virgin Mobile summer intern.  You can read his blog here.