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Jake Hurwitz

The Weekly WYR: July 17th

by Jake Hurwitz on

It’s my favorite time of the week, it’s time for the Weekly WYR. See if you’re brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe’s most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you’ve got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather…

  • Have your town over run by zombies, or fat girls with high self esteem? From KY
  • Have popcorn kernels stuck in the back of your mouth, or have a fly keep landing on your when youre trying to fall asleep? From Kyle
  • Burn the roof of your mouth eating hot food, or have all your fingernails clipped too short? From Kyle
  • Go back in time and chang something in your past, or Go to the future and see what your life is like? From Jared
  • Have the monster from Cloverfield trying to kill you, or Javier Bardem from No Country for Old Men? From Matt
  • Be best in the world at one thing, or 10th best in the world at 10 things? From Brian
  • Have infinate amounts of okay pizza, or have a set amount of the best pizza in the world? From Mike
  • Have your life depend on getting a swirled random password in one try, or figure out a magic eye in one try? From Neil
  • Be a cute polar bear with an amputated leg, or a cute kitten that is bald due to a deathly illness? From vic
  • Personally end strife in Darfur, or see The Dark Knight? From Andrew

Finally, this week’s winner of the I Don’t Think You’re Getting Enough Sleep Award is Julia, who sent in this.

  • Not be able to understand the concept of “more” or only be able to speak in iambic pentameter? From Julia

Congrats Julia, now please get some rest.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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Jake Hurwitz

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I Fought the Law Run-ins with the cops See All »
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Search and Siezure

When I was 16, I was walking home one night from my girlfriend's (at the time) like any other night. Now, as a teen, I had a shaved head, but that's as far as it goes for me looking like "a bad ass". I was super straight edge. I got to the corner across the street from my apartment, and I was waiting patiently at the light to cross, when all of a sudden I hear the... Read More » wailers and see flashing lights coming in my direction. Two cops get out of their car, tell me to come over and proceed to start hassling me. Given where I lived (tantamount to gang territory) and the fact that I was a teen out past 11PM, this was annoying, but not a huge surprise. The first question they asked me was "where am I going?" I said home. They asked where home is, and I could point to my window from where I was standing. That wasn't good enough. They decided they were going to demand that I "empty my pockets on the hood of the car". I refused, at which point they accused me of having something to hide. But what they didn't know was that I was taking classes in Canadian law at my high school, and had already covered the section on statutes on search and seizure and probable cause. So I told them flat out: "Give me your badge number, and I'll empty my pockets. And, when you find nothing there, I'll be down at your station tomorrow with a lawyer and I won't leave until I have your job because I gave you no probable cause to stop me, let alone undergo a search and seizure of my personal belongings. And if you don't like it, fuck off". Needless to say, they got back in their car and told me to go home. And I did, smiling.