If I were king

If I were King for a day I would have sex with like every hot chick  I saw on my way to Kingtopia where me and all my king friends would sit back and smoke king sized joints with king sized boobs all up in my face, you know what I mean? 

If I were king for a day I would be drunk the whole time, basking in all of my glory I would cancel all classes and throw the biggest kegger in world history at my house and tell my roomates to fuck off, I know I didnt exactly let them know I was having such an extravigent festivity by throwing the worlds largest kegger in history but if they say one more fucking word I’m making damn sure none of those whiny faggots get laid.  

At the King Kegger I will do so much King Coke that even Scarface would be like ‘dude, your the man’, but of course I would never accept such a grand geusture of being nomiated ‘the man’ but rather return the title of ‘the man’ back to scarface in return of him signing all the posters in my house.  Oh  yeah, scarface is at the King Kegger too. 

If I were King for a day I would rock the fuck out with cock way the fuck out with mad hotties running all around shaking their asses and shit.  I would order all the hot bitches to my house to play a game of cat and mouse (more like p in the VA G, superbad=best movie ever). 

After me, Vince Vaughn, and Dane Cook get done playing Halo 3  They will each let me know that I amso money yet I don’t even know it, at which point I will let them know that I do know that I am money, but thank you anyways. 

When its time to return thy crown to the powers that be I shall name that day in honor of thyself. 

-King Calvin