Tim takes Jenny out to a classy restaurant on their second date, making sure to wear his nicest dress shirt. Conversation is going great, and they both order the Tuscani pasta under heavy recommendation of the waiter.
Jenny: …and me and her used to be good friends, too, till it turned out she is a complete and total psycho bitch.
Tim: So you two really had a falling out?
Jenny: No, it’s so funny, she totally thinks we’re best friends still, but I don’t even return her calls half the time. I let her leave these long messages and play them on speakerphone for the rest of the girls to make fun of. She’s such a bitch though.
Tim: Right.
(Waiter comes out, with the chef in tow)
Waiter: How did you enjoy your Tuscani pasta this evening?
Jenny: It was fine. (looks at almost full plate) I just wasn’t that hungry, I guess.
Tim: Yeah, same here. we must have filled up on appetizers.
Waiter: Well, we have a surprise for you- That pasta wasn’t cooked by the chef at all. You were just eating Pizza Hut’s new Tuscani Pasta!
(In walk 10 pizza delivery guys with smiles on their faces and the restaurant inexplicably bursts into applause)
Chef: I didn’t do anything tonight! Haha!
Jenny: …What? I thought you were taking me to a nice restaurant. Did you seriously just take me out to a “Hut?”
Tim: I didn’t know-
Jenny: I mine as well have just picked up some DiGorno on the way to your place.
Tim: You just said you liked it.
Jenny: How could I like it? It tasted like microwaved Play-Doh. I was just being polite.
Tim: Listen, I’m sorry. How about you let me make it up to you. I rented Notting Hill, I remembered you saying you liked that one character that Hugh Grant always plays. We can watch it at my place?
Jenny: Forget it, you probably recorded it off of TBS or something. I was going to pretend like I drank too much wine and sleep with you, too. Your loss. Bye.
(Jenny storms off)
Tim: Thanks a lot, assholes.
Waiter: I’m very sorry about that. Can we make it up to you with a complimentary plate of N’ Fuego Buffalo Wings or Mamma Mia Mastacolli?



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