Mental Disorders are no laughing matter

We’ve all been afraid of something at one time or another. Some people are afraid of somethings all the time. Here is a who’s who of the irrational:

Alliumphobia: Fear of garlic. Vampires
Ambulophobia: Fear of walking. The only people to benefit from Segways.
Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. My dog.
Atomosophobia: Fear of atomic explosions. A fear of total destruction doesnt seem all that irrational to me.
Auroraphobia: Fear of Northern lights. Basically solved by leaving Canada. Which is good policy anyway.
Decidophobia: Fear of making decisions. Middle management.
Dikephobia: Fear of justice. “I only need TWO branches of government.”
Elurophobia: Fear of cats. The only people not on YouTube.
Gephysrophobia: Fear of crossing bridges. The Great state of Kansas is proud to Welcome you!
Hypegiaphobia: Fear of responsibility. Hippies.
Ithyphallophobia: Fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis. All of my ex-girlfriends.
Judeophobia: Fear of Jews. If your really afraid of well managed budgets and humor.
Koniophobia: Fear of dust. “Have you ever met Sandman?! Thats like the scariest shit ever!”
Leukophobia: Fear of the color white. Spike Lee.
Liticaphobia: Fear of lawsuits. The first reported case was 234 BC. No one could relate.
Lutraphobia: Fear of otters. Fear of awesome cuddly things that eat on their bellys.
Macrophobia: Fear of long waits. Disneyworlds most difficult demographic.
Maniaphobia: Fear of insanity. An irrantional fear of being irrational. Hmm.
Medomalacuphobia: Fear of losing an erection. My grandpa and I have exact opposite fears. This is his.
Menophobia: Fear of menstruation. Bears.
Mnemophobia: Fear of memories. Finally, a justification for my alcohol induced blackouts.
Myxophobia: Fear of slime. “˜Are you Afraid of the Dark’ was Nickelodeon’s least scary show in the 90s.”
Nebulaphobia: Fear of fog. Over 97% of cases in Mali go unreported.
Neopharmaphobia: Fear of new drugs. “Nope I’ll stick to the classics. Now give me more opium, leeches, and Coca-Cola.”
Octophobia: Fear of the figure 8. Rarely is figure skating such a horrifying sport.
Pantophobia: Fear of everything. A bit excessive, but hey, who am I to put a limit on irrationality.
Pellagrophobia: Fear of pellagra. (pellagra is the lack of the vitamin B3) I don’t even know how this becomes diagnosed.
Phobophobia: Fear of phobias. An irrational fear of the irrational. Fantastic.
Phronemophobia: Fear of thinking. The far left and the far right rarely share common ground.
Pogonophobia: Fear of beards. People afraid of awesome things that grow on you.
Porphyrophobia: Fear of the color purple. Not Oprah’s best work, but, no reason to fear it.
Potophobia: Fear of alcohol. Home schooled.
Pteronophobia: Fear of being tickled by feathers. Fear of a gay ole time.
Taphophobia: Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries. “I don’t care what you say, the Thriller video is the scariest shit on MTV. Yeah, even scarier than Madonna.”
Thaasophobia: Fear of sitting. Great calf muscles!
Venustraphobia: Fear of beautiful women. 7th grade me.
Zemmiphobia: Fear of the great mole rat. I can’t blame you.