News You've Missed Since "The Dark Knight" Came Out

Um…

There was that… uh…

Well, I mean, it’s not like anything else actually MATTERS… ok, fine. Yes, I know, this is a NEWS show, and we’re supposed to be bringing people issues and events other than the best movie of the “summer” (see: ever), but nothing is more important right now than The Dark Knight. Have you even been keeping an eye on the Internet in the last four days? I mean, there’s this site called CollegeHumor.com, and pretty much every update since Friday has been something to do with Batman. Yeah, it’s called CollegeHumor. Some site where college students post videos and pictures and stuff, and then they comment on – what?
No. No, school is definitely out for the summer. What? No, that doesn’t mean they have better things to do than check this website over and over again, day in and day out. There is enough time in the day; they can afford to go to the beach, and still have time to click Refresh ad nauseum until there’s something new to look at. What?

What the f*ck is a JOB?

Anyway, that’s not the point. The key demographics have spoken, and all we need to talk about right now is Batman. Also, Heath Ledger’s Oscar-worthy performance as the Joker. And if there’s time, there seems to be a lot of discussion about how necessary the “Batman voice” was.

Fine. News. You want news?

Christian Bale allegedly had a domestic dispute with his… oh, really? No, I didn’t know he, uh, played Batman. That is a weird coincidence, huh?

(It totally happened, and is totally un-Batman-related. Although Batman would certainly approve.