An Internal Coversation- Canine Edition

Brain: Rise and shine boys! It’s 4pm and we need to get up from our 5th nap of the day. It’s time for our walk!

Legs: Yes! I’ve had so much energy all day.

Ears: Can we nap some more? I’m still pretty tired…

Brain: Sorry ears, but the master got the leash out. You know the protocol; it’s time to go nuts.

Eyes: I confirm the leash. It’s definitely out.

Ears: Ok, but another nap when we get back.

Brain: You got it.

Crotch: Guys, I’m sorry about this, but I really need to be licked now.

Brain: C’mon, crotch. Not now, we’re just about to get a walk!

Crotch: I’m sorry, but I really need to be licked. Seriously.

Tongue: Permission to lick crotch, sir?

Brain: Yeah, go ahead, but be quick.

Tongue: Incoming!

Brain: I told you not to say that anymore… Alright, time to go crazy.

Nose: Hold on, I smell something. And it smells gooooooood.

Ears: I hear a bag opening. Sounds just like a bag of chips. Eyes, confirm for me please.

Eyes: I confirm the bag. It says “Doritos Cooler Ranch”.

Brain: Those are the same ones that we got into when the masters left last week.

Jaw: Should we commence begging sir? Or bark like mad for the leash?

Brain: Hmm… tough choice boys. What do we usually do in these situations?

Legs: Hump someone’s leg?

Brain: Exactly.

Crotch: Yes!

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Mary: Honey, the dog is doing it again.

Bob: Lick his crotch then hump your leg once he saw the leash?

Mary: Yeah.

Bob: God, dogs are so weird.