Wardrobe Conversation

Pants on Floor: Oh God, did you see what Mike brought in last night?

Shirt on Floor: Oh god, I barely made it in the room before those fake
nails of hers tore me off so hard my zipper nearly broke off. I still smell like
a Bacardi Breezer.

Pants on Floor: I just wish Mike would start getting with a girl whose
clothes can have a conversation, not these bus station quality sluts. Like that
girl he was dating for a few months. She was great, nothing but tasteful sweaters
and khaki pants.

Shirt on Floor: Shhh he’s coming!

(Mike walks in from shower, singing and talking to himself)

Mike: Somethin something somethin she’s just bein Miiiiiley… What to
wear, what to wear tonight. Hmm… I heard there’s something going on at the
frats.

Attitude T-Shirt: Yes, it’s my time to shine baby! The world will remember
Anchorman quotes once again! You ready, Cheap Stars and Stripes Hat Mike Bought
at Walmart?

America Hat: Hell yea bra, I am ready to make some sort of vague, possibly
ironic statement about patriotism. Or something.

(Mike gets off of the phone)

Mike: Hmm…looks the frat party got called off. A few dozen pledges get
alcohol poisoning and ruin it for the rest of us. I hope they die in the hospital.
Ha.

Sweatpants: Oh well. Looks like you should just stayin tonight. You did
go out yesterday, Thursday, Wednesday, and Monday, anyway. Throw me on, grab
a Coke, chill.

Sweatshirt: Yeah bud. Relax, watch some Family Guy with us.

Slippers: Ah, who are you kidding, you know the deal. We come out during
Midterms for a week straight, come out stained and smelling like shit and go
unused until Finals.

Mike: (On the Phone)Okay, we’re going out to the bars?

Nice Jeans: Yes!

Button-Up: Yes!

Jean Jacket: Yes!

Nice Jeans: Jean Jacket…What the hell are you cheering about?

Jean Jacket: We’re going out guys, this is gonna be da boooomb! So what’s
the scoop? where we goin duuudes?

Button-Up: Why on earth would Mike want to wear you?

Jean Jacket: Ha ha, ha. Come on, guys, what’s the dillio? Did you guys
just drink some haterade? Ha ha.

Button-Up: There is about as much of a chance of Mike wearing you as that
scarf he still has around for no explicable reason.

Scarf: Umm excuse you… I’m here because I’m fabulous!?!

(Mike looks around, and starts putting on Nice Jeans and Button-Up)

Nice Jeans and Button-Up: YEA BITCHES!

Polo:(From under the bed.)Tards, why do you think we were hiding
under here? He’s drinking tequila tonight, and you know what that means.

Khakis: He will soil himself in every way imaginable.

Hand Towel: What does that mean…Daddy?

Towel: Oh god. Hand Towel, I know you’re young, but you must be ready.
Tonight you become a man.