Recently I sat down with "Mo", the referee from the 90's Nickelodeon TV Show "GUTS" in a segment I like to call, "Behind the Crag"

Mo: It feels like it was just yesterday that I was putting 60 seconds on the clock, Mike was pointing at me to read the children's scores, and I wasn't a convicted felon. Those were the days.

RB: What do you think the catalyst was for the show's downfall? Let's go to you Mo! Sorry, had to do it.

Mo: I think it was a mix of drugs, greed, and lust…all the normal backstage Nickelodeon debauchery.

RB: Okay, using big words I don't know, classy. Was Mike ever pushing you to do any of those things?

Mo: Oh heavens no, I was in a very bad place at the time. I don't think there was one show in the second season that I wasn't tripping balls. It got to the point where all I could think of when I looked at the wave pool was, "If I drank all the pool water, would I die?"

RB: Wow, that is incredibly stupid, but I respect that. Was there ever a specific time during those years where you felt like something needed to change?

Mo: I think my mind set was completely changed when Kel got caught. We all didn't think anything could happen to us, like we were invincible.

RB: Was it the orange soda that got to him? I do remember him having quite a passion for the pop.

Mo: No, it was cocaine, but good try.

RB: I was close enough. So, how was it on the day of the police raid?

Mo: It was like any normal show taping day. Mike and I had been drinking ether since we arrived at the studio, Mike was fooling around with Summer Sanders, who I am still convinced has a penis, and I was trying to find a vein in my arm that I hadn't stabbed for about an hour…then we started the show.

RB: Summer, really? I could have figured that out, but moving on. The police report says that they found over 100 pounds of Nickelodeon's finest Yayo hidden in the Aggro Crag, is this correct?

Mo: Yes, they did. That was my retirement fund I watched leave that day. Then the next thing I knew I was in prison fisting for cigs. Mike sold me out right away, I should have known the bastard would do it, but I'm not that mad about it anymore. Besides, I'm not the one on a crappy network show going blind from the Summer Syph. Yes dear my ass.

RB: Morbid, I like it. So, do you have any regrets?

Mo: There are a lot of things I did that I am not proud of, but I try to live without regrets, never looking back, always striving to meet new goals with every new day.

RB: Okay, but I heard you blew every male camper at Camp Anawanna.

Mo: Okay, maybe I'll give you that one.

RB: Can I just say one more thing?

Mo: Sure.

RB: Did you salute their shorts before of after the money shot?


She had no comment and left my studio. This important question still stands.