Sweat Dreams

Right Foot: Hey, Lefty! Are you awake?

Left Foot: Of course. It’s like 900 degrees under these blankets. What is she thinking making us sleep under blankets in the middle of the summer?

Brain: Neck and chin like to cuddle with them.

Neck and Chin: It’s true. We like to cuddle.

Feet: Well I don’t see why we need to sweat our balls off so you can “cuddle.”

Neck and Chin: Well we don’t hear anyone else complaining.

Back-of-the-knees: Ahem, uh, we kind of have a problem with it.

Neck: You’ve never said anything before.

Back-of-the-knees: We thought our profuse sweating would get the message across.

Chin: Ok, guess what? We don’t care if you’re sweaty. If you don’t like things, you can just flip off the blankets down by you.

Feet: Fine, we’ll take calves over this way and back-of-the-knees, you can just kind of like hook over the top of the blanket…

Back-of-the-knees: Oh, that’s worse. Much worse. I’ve got a lot of blanket bunched up in my area.

Left Ankle: Is this what Restless Leg Syndrome is?

Right Ankle: The commercial didn’t specify.

Area-under-the-underwear-elastic: I’m sweaty too, BTW!

Neck: Oh Jesus. You’re ruining my comfy time!

Left Arm: Ok, ok, let’s all settle down. I’ll just pull all the blankets up to the upper body region. Right arm, where are you?

Right Arm: I’m getting my snuggle on with chin and neck. Suuuuper cozy.

Inner Elbow: Yo yo yo. It’s so warm in here this comforter should be called an uncomforter. Am I right or am I right?

Left Foot: Was that a joke?

Inner Elbow: Yeah. And it was a good joke. I know funny-

Right Foot: Bone. You know funny bone.

Funny Bone: Nope. I don’t want to be a part of this. I don’t even get sweaty.

Left Foot: Is that true?

Right Foot: I guess that’s true.

Inner Elbow: So chill. Get it?

Chin: That’s not a joke. And shh. We’re sleeping.

Brain: Ok, where were we? In the Batmobile going to pick up our dry cleaning from a Barbara Walters zombie…

Inner Elbow: You mean normal Barbara Walters. Ha, am I right?

Brain: Shh! It’s dream time.

…

Feet: Ok, who’s cold now?