Chuck E. Cheese and the Pizza Time Players

Chuck E. Cheese: Alright, from the top! No one leaves ‘til we get this down.

Helen Henny: C’mon Chuck, you’ve had us locked up here forever.

Mr. Munch: Yeah, we could use a break.

Chuck E. Cheese: We don’t stop. We never, ever stop. From the top gang.

The Pizza Time Players start rocking out but Mr Munch can’t keep up with the pace on the piano

Chuck E. Cheese: Stop. STOP! What’s the problem Munch?

Mr. Munch: My fingers hurt. It feels like they’re on fire.

Chuck E. Cheese: No pain, no gain. Jasper Jowls how we doin’ over there, ya mutt?

Jasper T. Jowls: I need water.

Chuck E. Cheese: Have another slice of pizza.

Jasper: No. No more pizza. Please. Just water.

Chuck E. Cheese: You’ll get your bowl later. From the top! One and a tw-

Pasqually: Theese is inhumana ah Mista Cheeeese.

Chuck E. Cheese: Shut the fuck up Squally. You want to go back to making pizzas for 2 dollars an hour in Hell’s Kitchen? Because I don’t think your lil daughter would like that, I heard she’s fitting in well at that new prep school you’re sending her to. Wouldn’t want an unexpected cut in your financial stability now would we?

Pasqually: That is family money from grandfather in old country. You pay scraps in coins and tickets — no one accepts this tender.

Chuch E. Cheese: Or maybe I’ll call my brother-in-law at the INS and see what he has to say about your expired work visa.

Helen: You have to admit, Pasqual has a point Chuck.

Chuck E. Cheese: Two things. We’re not friends so stop calling me Chuck. It’s Charles. In fact, make that Mr. Cheese. And stop dressing like a bimbo, you’re here to sing not score side action from disgruntled Dads during their son’s 10th Birthday Party. Clean up your act or you’re out.

Helen: tears up You’re a monster, Mr. Cheese.

Chuck E. Cheese: laughs The only monster here is a Grimace ripoff who can’t play keyboard for shit.

Mr. Munch looks sufficiently defeated with his head down in the gutters.

Mr. Munch: under his breath, barely audible I hate you rat.

Chuck E. Cheese: What was that?!? What did you call me? I’m a mouse, not a filthy rat.

Pasqually: When I work at pizza parlor I see many big rat and I believe you rat, with all due respect, ah Mista Cheese.

Chuck E. Cheese: Why are you even here Pasqually? You’re a human, go clean up after us animals and the monster.

Jasper: So thirsty.

Helen Henny’s tears cause her to malfunction and catch fire, the flame quickly ingnites the entire stage. Jasper T. Jowls passes out from dehydration. Pasqually tries to run but realizes he’s bolted to the stage. Mr. Munch accepts his fate with quiet dignity.

Chuck E. Cheese: From the top.