(Kevin arrives homefrom work to see his roommate, Matthew McConoughey sitting on the floor,staring at the ceiling.)
 
Kevin: Hey, what'sgoing on Matt, I see you had a busy day.
Matthew McConoughey:Busy day indeed brah, busy indeed and another thing buddy, call me Matt, Mr.McConoughey is my dad's name man Haha, alright .haha.
Kevin: Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexed Ok Matt,did you find some time in the day to go get some milk?
MM: Sure enough ambrosia.The ceiling is, I don't know man it's trippy uh..haha alright.
Kevin: Stares at MM, still perplexed opens fridge,no milk in sight. Where's the milk?
MM: Oh right man,you right check out this. opens bedroomdoor
Kevin: looks in to find a goat, staring right backIt's a goat.
MM: Right onright on. Isn't that little guy phenomenal?
Kevin: It's agoat.
MM: It'sbeautiful Abe-BRO-ham Lincoln hah..uhh.It's like, there man, it there.
Kevin: Yeah man,it's there What the hell are you thinking, about the goat and whatnot.
MM: I don't thinkman, I react to the situation that life throws at us man. I embrace it and thewinds of life take me bro. Just, react man.
Kevin: What?
MM: haha, you'realright man. You really are. This is a good moment man. Absolutely a goodmoment just awesome. Hey, let's drink some beer with our new roommate. Right, Wayne,lets drink some beer and just be.
Kevin: Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexed Whyare you alive?
MM: hands Kevin and Wayne a beer, cracks openhis I'm not alive that's the crazy art man, I'm just living bro justliving.
Kevin: This is ajoke, right?
Wayne: Bah. eats can of beer
MM: No way! Wayne is officially inthe "League of Righteous Dudes." That was inspiringly beautiful on all levelsof the human and animal world. Beautiful. Haha alright.
Kevin: Stares at MM It was pretty cool.
MM: Alright man.You getting' it brother. Uhhhh question amigo. You know what's cool?
Kevin: sighs What?
MM: A thermosmug.
Kevin: Stares at Matthew McConoughey, utterlyshocked
MM: When you putcold stuff in it, it keeps it cold. When you put hot stuff in it, the sameexact thermos, it keeps it hot. HOW DOES IT KNOW!! WHOA!!! Blow the mind awayman, crazy. Wayne,whatcha think about that.
Wayne: Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexe,continues eating carpet
MM: I got you Wayne. That cat is deep.Hey bro, let's go to the river and swim bro.
Kevin: You meanthe Mississippi River?
MM: Right on, themighty Mississippi themighty MISS-AH-SSSIIIII-PAH. You want some of that cleaning river mud.
Kevin: Do I wantthat? Just about as much as I want to befucked in the ass.
MM: Alright man,next time next time. Come on Wayne,lets got get you baptized.
Wayne: bah.
 
Wayne and MM ride off into the sunset
This Week in Sports!!
What Your Book Bag Says About You...
The Generic College Football Argument: Part Deux

7 Arrested Development Themed Cocktails
Sit on a Barbed Wire Dildo
If People Were Really Honest in Job Interviews
Inquisitive George Visits a Hospital
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots