I'm Sensing A Little Tension Here....

One glorious Sunday morning, my roommates and I are enjoying the daily newspaper. Most of us, anyway.


Me: Oh man, we gotta go check out Sea World.

Blind Guy: F*ck you.

Me: What? Oh, right, the blindness puns. My bad?

Blind Guy: Ass.

Me: Sorry… Oh crap, the (Insert Local Sports Team or Theatre Group) stink.

Friend Who Can’t Smell (Firecracker Accident, Damn Burning Schoolhouses): C’mon man.

Me: What?

FWCS: You can’t just say they suck?

Guy Who Can’t Taste: Jerks.

Me: Sorry, didn’t see you there.

Blind Guy: Ass.

Me: Oh, shut up braille boy. Go feel your bumps somewhere else if you don’t like it.

Some Jerk With No Sense of Touch: I don’t know how, but that offends me.

Me: Where did you come from? God, if I can’t use verbs in this house we’re going to have a problem. Good luck finding someone else who would put up with this.

The Deaf Guy: What?

Blind Guy: He said….wait a second, is that Ray? F*ck, tell him to shut up.

Me: You can’t, he’s deaf retard.

Guy Who Can’t Taste: Hey! I take offense to that.

Me: …..

No Taste Guy: ….I didn’t do so good in school.

Ray (He’s Deaf): BAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Um, why is he laughing?

Guy With No Sense Of Touch: Get Fuzzy.

Me: Ah, quality comic.

Guy With Echo Location: I think everyone just needs to calm down and then we’ll all realize this is just one big misunderstanding.

Me: Exactly, wait….are you eating flies in the dark again? What the hell?

GWEL: That’s what I do, I send out sonic waves that bounce back to me, locating my prey. How do you catch your meals?

Roommate with Heat Vision: With my heat vision.

Me: ……. Kay, I’m done. I’ll send for my things. See ya.

Blind Guy: Hey!

Me: SHUT THE F*CK UP!

Ray: …….what? Ha! Marmaduke you dog, you.

Guy With No Sense of Style: Hey dudeskis! Need a new roommate?

Blind Guy: Sure, why not?