As long as I have been enjoying the sweet taste of cronenberg on a casual summer's night the same thing seems to rip inside of my head as the most annoying, mind numbing nuisance ever to enter a party arena. The slightly drunk loud girl. You will find this girl with most likely a bottle of wine in their hands, sitting in some dudes lap screaming Fergie lyrics at the top of her lungs just so she gets the parties attension fixated on her. Sure she might be cute and have a super sweet rack which giggles as she walks but don't be fooled by those fun bags, she is annoying as shit. Sometimes I do say to myself, "hey! don't be so critical, shes just having a good time" but then my thought is interupted by her leg swinging out from the depths of the excited boys lap and knocking over a 1963 persian lamp. Over the loud "OOOOH!" echoing throughout the house comes the home owner looking angry. The girl then lunges from her first prays lap and jumps into the home owner's arms screaming apologies. But soon enough after rubbing her chest against him and standing really close saying that she will pay for everything, the home owner is seduced. After one hour of seduction the loud girl leaves her pray without a slap on her wrist. She however, is not finished yet. What comes with a loud girl is also a side of cleptoness. She is upstairs with her other, most likely not as pretty friend, stealing what they can. My conclusion to this artical is a moral lesson: Don't be fooled, they have no souls, and you are about 27.5 times smarter then they are. If you ever find yourself caught with a loud girl, simply stop moving. They are based on the sence of motion, if you are not moving, they simply cannot see you.
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