Operation Freakout – Turns out Scientology is even more psychotic and evil than you knew! Good luck, Suri Cruise. You're gonna need it.

The Miracle of the Sun – The desert level from Mario 3 was based on real events! Will it soon be socially acceptable for me to wear my frog suit in public? Please?

The Denver Airport- News Flash! Airports suck. But the Denver Airport sucks just a littttttle harder.

The Bible Code – God got bored while he was writing the Bible and decided to turn it into a crossword puzzle. I wish he would have turned it into a sudoku or connect-the-dots, that would've been way better. Regardless, I finally have something to keep me occupied in church.

The REAL Truth Behind 9/11!!!- This is what aired in France the morning of September 11th, 2001. Are you ready to know the TRUTH? Was it bin Laden? Nope. George W. Bush? Nuh-uh. Iran? Iraq? Russia? Canada? Ecuador?! Not even close. The truth is far more horrifying than you can ever imagine.

May the Jihad be with you.