The night is spent around the bong,
Friends laugh of good times past.
But darkness spreads across the land,
I must head home at last.
My bed a warm and welcome hug,
But in my head – a doubt.
For I am high as shit right now,
And I must rub one out.
I google “Miley Cirus nude,”
And “Martha Stewart’s tits.”
Then to my trusted hardcore site
For shitting jizz and clits.
My eyelids close as meat is stroked,
I give it one last stand,
But porno fades to welcomed sleep,
My penis still in hand.
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Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
